Stress Management | Wellbeing | Better Relationships

Stress is a term that is commonly used today, but it has become increasingly difficult to define. Low and short-term levels of stress can be healthy — at these levels stress can motivate change and growth. However usually when we say “stress” we mean that which is occurring at unhealthy levels. A pervasive feeling of anxiety and tension that is associated with being under pressure, or having difficulty coping with demands on you. When these feelings stick around for long periods of time, it can have a huge impact on your emotional and physical wellbeing. Unmanaged stress has been linked to a wide range of mental and physical illnesses and disorders.

What causes stress? Well, it’s highly individual. Stress is a kind of strain on the body in response to triggering agents, and these agents are often called “stressors.” Stressors can be external or internal. External factors include your job, your relationships with others, and your physical environment. It’s all the situations, challenges, difficulties, and expectations you’re confronted with on a daily basis. Internal factors determine your body’s ability to cope with these external stressors. This includes your diet and nutrition, your overall health and fitness, your mental and emotional well-being, and the amount of rest you get.

The information in this section will help you to identify warning signs that you are under stress, and also includes a variety of suggestions for stress management and reducing the harm that stress itself can cause.

Warning signs

The below list is an example of what people often experience when they are under too much stress.

Cognitive symptoms of stress

Memory problems.
Difficulty concentrating.
Trouble making decisions.
Short attention span.
Seeing only the negative side of things.
Anxious, circling or racing thoughts.
Constant worrying.
Predicting the worst.

Emotional symptoms of stress

Moodiness and mood swings.
Irritability, impatience, or short temper.
Agitation, snappishness, and being easily annoyed.
Inability to relax. Feeling guilty when you do take time to relax.
Feeling overwhelmed or always rushed.
Sense of isolation or aloneness.
Sense of hopelessness, of never catching up.
Depression or general unhappiness.

Physical symptoms of stress

Aches and pains.
Tense muscles, especially in the shoulders and neck.
Grinding or clenching teeth.
Diarrhea or constipation.
Nausea, unsettled tummy.
Dizziness or light-headedness.
Fatigue, feeling worn out or run down.
Increased heartbeat and breathing rate.
Loss of sex drive.
Frequent colds or infections.
Skin problems (e.g. acne, rashes).

Behavioral symptoms of stress

Eating more or less.
Sleeping more or less (especially difficulty getting to sleep).
Isolating yourself from others.
Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities.
Increased use of alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax.
Nervous habits (e.g. fidgeting, nail biting, pacing).
Calling in sick at work.

Occasionally experiencing a few of the above symptoms is not cause for concern. Short term stress or nervousness is completely normal from time to time; it’s a fact of life! However, if you are experiencing a number of these symptoms, it may mean you are under more stress than you think. The same is true if they have been going on for a while, or are quite out of character.

You can consider the above a list of signs that it is time acknowledge you may be stressed. This is not a bad thing, it’s a very helpful signal that it is time to take action.

Now that we’ve identified what stress is, and how to spot it coming on, let’s look at what we do with it once it’s arrived.

How do you manage your stress?

Take a moment to think of the ways that you have tried in the past to manage your stress. What stress management techniques have you used in the past? Write them in the box below, you can type in it. Write everything you can think of! Anything from month-long holidays to 10-minute hot baths. No technique is too insignificant.

As an example, mine are: Reading, going for walks, writing in my journal, and writing to-do lists. Talking to friends (and asking for input), playing with my cats, pulling weeds and (yep) long, hot baths with oils and magnesium. Oh, and if I’m going to be completely honest: Avoiding thinking about my responsibilities, eating more chocolate than is probably healthy, and putting off tasks I’m worried about!

Now you go. Put each item on a new line. You can drag the box to be bigger by clicking on the bottom right corner.

Are you sure you’ve gotten everything? Take another moment to think about it and add a couple more (I bet you can).

Now look back over these strategies. Look at each one, and think about how useful it has been. Rate it on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is “It didn’t help at all,” and 10 is “it solved my problem(s).”

Ineffective coping strategies

When we’re facing problems that seem too difficult, never-ending, or overwhelming, we often fall back on ineffective coping strategies. These are things that may temporarily make us feel better, or buy a bit more time, but they rarely solve the problem. They are most often a form of avoidance that really only serve to prolong or worsen the problem.

Some examples of these are:

Procrastination: Putting off dealing with something that just seems too much for you right now.
Denial: Pretending or acting like everything is fine, when evidence indicates otherwise.
Alcohol, mood altering drugs, overeating.
Complaining: This can seem like an unburdening of your problems but is often not constructive.
Attending to other problems or goals that are not as urgent or important as the one being avoided.
Burying yourself in other activities such as work, hobbies or other distractions.
Other avoidance strategies.

The issue with these is that the stressor is still there at the end, and sometimes may be worse. So while for a brief period you felt much happier, or more productive, in reality you were simply putting off the inevitable. The thing is, when we are tired, upset, sick, lonely, or yes, stressed out, we are really vulnerable to ineffective coping strategies.

When you are facing stressors that seem insurmountable is the most important time to engage in helpful strategies. Effective “self care” strategies can mellow you out a bit and prepare you for some serious problem solving. Some strategies that have been found in the research to be effective for stress management are listed below.

Self care for stress — Meditation and mindfulness can be helpful for stress

Coping strategies for stress management

Take a break; some time to yourself to clear your mind. Get a change of scenery, even if it’s just a walk around the block.
Learn to use a relaxation technique. There are many types: Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation. Conscious relaxation is pretty much the physical opposite of the physical stress response.
Engage socially. Spend some time with family or friends. If you can’t, try to meet some new people. Find an interest or support group.
Get some regular exercise. Physical activity improves the body’s ability to respond to stress. Stretching and walking are easy, safe ways to release tension. Aim for at least 30 minutes per day.
Stop smoking. Even though many people find smoking relaxing, this is a deceptive effect. Symptoms of nicotine withdrawal actually make you feel more stressed, and when you smoke you temporarily relieve these. If you don’t smoke, that’s one less physical stressor you experience in the first place.
Talk to someone about it. It is helpful to share your thoughts and feelings with someone who is willing to listen. Find someone you can trust.
- Speaking with a professional can further provide objective support and encouragement.
If you’re not up to sharing it with someone else, write about it in a diary, journal or letter. Getting your thoughts down on paper can help clarify things.
Get enough sleep. Rest regenerates your mind and body. Try not to use sleeping pills too often; instead try a relaxing herbal tea.
Nourish the spiritual part of yourself. Religion, beauty, nature, science and even painful life experiences have been used by people to deepen their sense of spirituality and meaning.
Take one day at a time. Be in the present moment. Try not to dwell on the past, or worry about the future, but be mindful of the here and now.
Set a time, each day, for worring. Give yourself however much time you need, and let your mind go there for that time. If worries creep in unscheduled, say (or think), “Oh, worry is here! Thanks worry, but you’re early for our appointment. I’ll attend to you then.” Go back to what you were doing.
Practice action or acceptance. Face stressors by acting directly when possible. Dwelling on issues without either action or acceptance only adds to stress.
Get a massage, be it from a professional, friend or a family member. A ten minute neck, shoulder or foot massage can potentially relax both your body and mind.
If a massage isn’t possible, try a heat-pack or hot water bottle. Have a hot bath or shower. Heat relaxes tired muscles too. Stretches work as well.
Get good nutrition. Eat foods with the vitamins and minerals that will make your body strong and healthy. This is one of the best ways to fight off stress. Include plenty of whole foods and drink lots of water.
Delegate responsibilities. It is okay to ask for help if you need it. It is also okay to say “No.” You needn’t feel guilty if you can’t take on more.
Engage in hobbies and activities that you value. Try to use these as a reward for having achieved something a bit less pleasant.
Set SMART goals. Break bigger ones down into smaller, more achievable, multi-step goals.

Self care

Engaging in good self care is the first step to overcoming and preventing high levels of stress. But what exactly is self care? Read more about Self care in high stress situations.

Still need help?

Access the Anglicare SQ Family Support Service (Brisbane) or the Kinections Psychology & Wellbeing Clinic (Brisbane) if you think you would benefit from some counselling or support around this issue.