All children can learn ways to keep themselves safe. This is commonly termed protective behaviours. As parents and carers our role is to keep children safe, while at the same time encouraging their independence. This can be a delicate balance, and a challenge for parents to navigate at times.
Ways parents and carers can support children to learn how to keep safe. Below are some protective behaviours that you and your child can start engaging in now.
Protective behaviour strategies
- Help the child identify who they can talk to if they don’t feel safe.
- Make sure the child knows what to do if they are in an unsafe situation.
- Kids should have their own safe place in the house – a place that is ‘theirs,’ where they can go if they are feeling unsafe.
- Make sure your child knows their own address and phone number in case of emergency.
- Child should know who to call in emergency – 000.
- Discuss with your child safe people they can talk with when they are feeling unsafe. Come up with a list of 3-5 people that your child would feel OK talking to.
- Remind your children frequently that “Nothing is so awful that we can’t talk with someone about it.”
- Teach your child that if the first person they talk to doesn’t believe them, then they can (and should!) tell someone else.
- Try to help your child remember the phone number for Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800. Write it down or give it to them on a card they can carry around.
- Encourage children to stay out of adults fights, and to ask for help if fights feel unsafe. Tell them to find an adult who will help them when fights seem unsafe, or to call 000.
- Teach them self protection skills. Help them learn to listen to their early warning signs, and to trust their feelings and instincts. Ask their child what happens in their body when they feel unsafe, or get an “uh oh” feeling. These are warnings signs they can use to take action.
- Teach your children the rules around inappropriate touch, and knowing what to do if the rules are broken.
- Teach your child to be assertive. Allow them to say no to hugs and kisses from family members and friends. Encourage them to find a greeting they feel more comfortable with, such as high fives, or hand shakes.
- Teach children that it is okay to say no to adults if the adult is asking them to do something that seems unreasonable or unsafe.
- Empower children to know that they own their bodies, and they always have the right to say no if they don’t want anybody touching them. Tell them sometimes this is more important than offending someone.
- Teach children to leave an uncomfortable situation.
- Teach children about inappropriate secrets. For young children you can frame it as the difference between a “secret” and a “surprise.” A surprise makes you feel good inside, a secret makes you feel bad. If anything makes you feel bad inside, you can always tell someone.
All children have the right to feel safe.
For more information take a look at the QLD police Protective Behaviours website.
If you would like further advice or support, or some supportive counselling for your child, please get in touch with our Family Support Program (Brisbane), Operation Kinder Community (Riverview) or Early Parent Centre (Inala).
